Good Videl, Bad Videl
by Arglefumph
Summary: Thanks to an evil scientist, Videl is split up into two people: Good Videl and Bad Videl. Needless to say, the two Videls cause Gohan a lot of grief. Oneshot. Written for SweetestIrony's Gohan/Videl Week 4.0.


**Author's Note: **This story was written for Gohan/Videl Week 4.0, an event held by SweetestIrony. The topic is "good versus evil", and specifically, I was given "good" as my subject.

* * *

_Somewhere in Hercule City..._

An evil scientist named Dr. Worm was pacing around angrily in his lab. "What do you _mean_, the heist didn't go off as planned?" he shouted, pulling the ends of his gray mustache.

"They got the money and made it out of the bank," Dr. Worm's assistant said. "But that's when they ran into—"

"Videl Satan!" Dr. Worm shouted. "Teenage crime fighting superhero, my foot! She's just a meddlesome little creep who's watched too many _Kim Possible_ episodes! This is the third time she's foiled one of my plans!"

Dr. Worm's assistant looked guilty. He knew that his news would not make Dr. Worm happy.

"Actually, Videl didn't catch them," he said. "The robbers were stopped by the Great Saiyaman."

"_The Great Saiyaman?_" Dr. Worm screeched. "Why is it that we live in a town that's overflowing with superheroes? We'll _never_ take over the world at this rate! I can barely afford to pay the rent as it is!"

"Maybe we could move somewhere else?" the assistant suggested.

Dr. Worm stopped pacing and shot a deadly serious look at his assistant. "No," he said. "Not when I'm so close to finishing my brainwashing ray! As soon as I get the last diamond I need, I'll take care of Videl Satan once and for all"

* * *

Videl's wristwatch communicator beeped during class the next day. She pressed the "talk" button.

"What is it, Chief?" Videl asked.

"There's a robbery in progress at the local jewelry store!" the Chief said. "A mad scientist and his assistant are attempting to steal a diamond! We need you right away!"

"I'll be right there," Videl said, pressing the "end call" button. Then she stood up.

"I have to stop a robbery," she said.

"And I have to go to the bathroom!" Gohan shouted quickly.

Videl cast Gohan a nasty glare. "Why is it that you _always_ have to go to the bathroom whenever I leave to fight crime?" she asked him in a low voice, so no one else could hear. "Is it because you're really the Great Saiyaman?"

"Who? Me? No!" Gohan said quickly. "I just have a really tiny bladder! Honest!"

* * *

"Behold!" Dr. Worm cried. "The Brainwashing Ray is now complete! With this, I can turn anyone evil! Even...Videl Satan! HA HA HA HA HA!"

There was an awkward silence as Dr. Worm looked as his assistant, expecting him to join in on the evil gloating.

"Um...ha ha?" the assistant said.

Dr. Worm tapped his foot impatiently. "You know, Mr. Booger, if you're _going_ to be my assistant, you have to work on your evil laugh."

"I'm sorry," Mr. Booger said.

"Oh, you're _going _to be," Videl said, stepping into the store. "As soon you two are arrested, that is!"

"Foolish little girl!" Dr. Worm said, pointing his brainwashing ray at Videl and pulling the trigger. "Take this!"

The brainwashing ray was a rather simple device. It would split a person's bad side away from their good side, and then give complete control to the bad side, sort of like Garlic Junior's Evil Mist.

Unfortunately, only the first half of the process worked.

* * *

_Two Minutes Later..._

"Here you go, Chief," Videl said, throwing a very bruised-looking Dr. Worm and Mr. Booger onto the sidewalk. "Arrest them!"

"Wow," the chief said, looking at the two injured criminals. "You really did a number on them. They must have put up quite a fight!"

"They didn't fight back at all, actually," Videl said, grinning wickedly. "I just love fighting. There's something undeniably fun about beating someone's head in."

"Well, thank you very much," the chief said. "We'll take it from here. You can return to school now."

"HA!" Videl said. "School is for losers! I'm going shopping! Later!"

Videl walked off, and the chief began filling out some standard post-arrest paperwork. Shortly afterwards, the Great Saiyaman landed.

"I'm here, Chief!" Saiyaman said. "Where are the criminals? I'll stop them, for I am...the GREAT SAIAYMAN!"

Saiyaman did a rather strange pose, where he stood on one foot and brought his thumbs together, over his head.

"You're too late, Saiyaman," the chief said. "Videl already took care of the robbers."

Saiyaman fell over. "Really?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Videl said. She jumped over from where she had been standing—in front of the jewelry store—and landed near Saiayaman and the chief of police. "Evil-doers beware! You won't get away with your crimes, because..." Here, Videl swung her arms in a big circle, before stopping to do a pose with her right hand in a fist, held high in the sky. "I'm Videl, protector of Hercule City!"

"Gack!" Saiyaman cried. "You're doing poses! That's _my _signature crime fighting move!"

Videl giggled. "Too bad, Saiyaman! They look cooler when I do them!"

"But...didn't you say poses are the stupidest thing ever?" Saiyaman asked.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Saiyaman," Videl said, putting her hand on his arm in a comforting manner. "Do you need a hug?"

"Um...no," Gohan said. "I don't need a hug."

Videl patted his arm instead. "Poses are cool, but your poses...well...aren't so cool," Videl said. "I can help you come up with new poses, if you want. Later, though. I have to get back to school now. Learning is fun!"

Videl skipped away, humming to herself.

Silence followed.

"Chief, did Videl get hit on the head when she fought the criminals here?" Saiyaman asked.

"I'm...not sure," the chief said.

* * *

"Videl, you're very late," the teacher reprimanded the young girl.

"Sorry!" Videl said. "I caught the criminals a half-hour ago, but I couldn't find my jet copter, so I ran all the way back here!"

Videl ran up the stairs to the back row, where she stopped next to Gohan.

"Hi, Gohan!" she said, giving him a sideways hug. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm, uh, er...uh..." Gohan started sweating. He hadn't been this close to a girl since...well, he hadn't been this close to a girl before.

"I know I've been mean to you lately, and I'm really sorry," Videl said. "I don't want to ruin our friendship. It's special to me."

Gohan fainted, and Videl stepped over his body.

"Hi, Erasa!" she said, giving her friend a sideways hug. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm fine, but I think you just gave Gohan a heart attack," Erasa said.

Videl giggled. "I know, he's so silly, isn't he? That's why I love him. That, and he's so cute."

* * *

Gohan caught up with Videl after class. He _had_ to figure out what was going on.

"Hey, Videl," Gohan said.

"What do _you_ want?" Videl snapped. "Come to confess that you're really Saiyaman?"

"No, I'm just wondering why you...you know..."

Videl looked impatient and tapped her foot.

"Hugged me," Gohan whispered.

"WHAT?" Videl shouted. "I didn't do that!"

"But you did!" Gohan said. "In class just now!"

"I wasn't _in_ class just now," Videl said. "And besides, I'd _never_ hug _you!_ You're a liar, and a nerd, and an all-around sneak! Stop making up stories about me, or I'll kick your butt!"

Videl left angrily, leaving Gohan very confused.

"But...but...she _did_ hug me, and it felt nice, and...AUGH!" Gohan gasped. He had to sort out this situation with Videl, not daydream about her! He searched for her energy signal and found it close by. He ran straight to his classmate.

"Videl!" Gohan said.

Videl turned around. "Aw, Gohan! You look so cute in that sweater!"

"We need to talk!" Gohan said. "You hugged me and—"

"Oh, you need another hug?" Videl said. "Sure! Hugs make everything better!"

Videl moved in to hug Gohan, but he used his martial arts training to dodge. "No!" Gohan cried. "I don't need a hug! I'm confused because you yelled at me for hugging you and—"

"Oh," Videl said, stopping suddenly. "I see what's going on. You want a little _more_ than a hug. Well, okay, handsome! Pucker up!"

Gohan screamed as Videl tried to kiss him, and he immediately started running away as fast as his legs could take him (without going at supersonic speeds). He ran down random hallways, circling the school a few times, until somebody tripped him.

"Stop screaming like a maniac, you big baby!" Videl snapped.

"Videl! You...you..."

"If you don't shut up, I'll clobber you!"

"_You're_ the one who tried to kiss me!" Gohan accused.

Videl threw a punch at Gohan's head, but he grabbed it in his hand. She punched with her other hand, but he grabbed that, too. She struggled to push forward as Gohan held her fists in his hands.

"Rrrrrrrgh!" Videl roared. "I knew it! You're the Great Saiayman! How else can you hold me back without even struggling?"

"Ah!" Gohan said, instantly letting Videl go. She grabbed his head and started slamming it against a locker, yelling at him to confess.

Needless to say, Videl and Gohan both got detention that day for fighting in the halls.

* * *

_Okay, Videl has gone completely insane,_ Gohan decided. _If she's not trying to kill me, she's trying to kiss me! Maybe she's going through mood swings because she's pregnant or something. Or maybe she's like that one girl Dad knew...Lunch? Launch? I forget her name._

Gohan was very careful while returning to class, in case Videl was upset, but she seemed happy.

"We have detention together!" she said. "That means we get to be together for an hour after school...all alone...I can finally give you that kiss you want!"

"_I don't want to kiss you!_" Gohan said forcefully.

Videl looked disappointed. "But...kissing is a form of love, and love is the best thing in the world! Why don't you want to kiss? Would you rather kiss Erasa instead?"

"No, I don't want to kiss Erasa!" Gohan said.

_He doesn't want to kiss me...he doesn't want to kiss Erasa...why doesn't he...oh!_

Videl gasped. "I'm so sorry!" she said. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable! It's just...I didn't know you were gay."

Gohan grabbed his throbbing forehead in an attempt to stop the pain.

"I'm totally fine with that, though," Videl said. "You can be my new gay best friend, okay?"

Gohan fainted again.

* * *

Gohan showed up to detention that day, expecting the worst, which is exactly what he got when two Videls showed up. He fainted for the third time that day.

When he woke up, the two Videls were still there.

"Gohan, are you okay?" Good Videl asked.

"Who cares?" Bad Videl asked.

"There—there—there are two of you!" Gohan stammered.

"The nerd knows how to count," Bad Videl said. "Why am I not surprised?"

It explained why Videl was acting like two different people all day long, Gohan reflected, but it was still the weirdest thing he had ever seen.

"_WHY_ are there two of you?" Gohan demanded.

Good Videl started playing with one of her ponytails. "I don't know what happened," she said. "I was fighting jewel robbers, and they shot me with some sort of ray, and then there were two of me."

"And you didn't think about _telling_ anyone?" Gohan asked.

"Well, yeah, what if they thought I was crazy? That'd be bad, and I don't like bad things."

"You're such a wuss. I bet I could kick your butt."

"No way! Good always triumphs over bad!"

"Try me!"

The two Videls started sparring with each other, in the middle of the classroom.

"I think _I'm_ going crazy," Gohan said.

* * *

Gohan practically had to drag the fighting Videls apart and take them to the police station.

"It's very nice of you to help us," Good Videl said, her eyes shining.

"If I didn't, I'd never get any peace again," Gohan muttered.

The three teens stopped at the main desk.

"We need to see the stupid morons who tried to rob the jewelry store today," Bad Videl said.

"Sorry, Videl," the officer at the front desk said. "They're still in holding. We haven't moved them to the jail yet."

"_We need to see them!_" Bad Videl snapped.

"You should be nicer," Good Videl said.

"Stuff it," Bad Videl replied.

The police officer looked at the three teens. "Is it just me, or are there two Videls?" he asked.

"It's a long story," Gohan said. "Seeing those criminals will help fix things. Can you please let us in?"

"Well...I guess Videl _did_ catch the criminals..." the officer said. "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"This is horrible, Mr. Booger!" Dr. Worm cried.

"Yes, our evil plans have come to naught," the large assistant agreed. "Now we'll spend the rest of our lives in jail."

"No, not that," Dr. Worm said. "I meant that these prison uniforms are horrible! Orange is _so_ not my color!"

"Green is my favorite color," Mr. Booger said.

"I like mauve!" Dr. Worm said. "Green is good, too, though, I guess."

"You two!" an officer said. "We need to speak with you, now!"

"Oh, good, they finally finished our paperwork," Dr. Worm said. "I've been wondering how long that would take."

Dr. Worm was hoping to get to the main jail, where he was planning on performing the greatest jailbreak ever, with the help of Mr. Booger, a spoon, three cans of silly string, and a piñata in the shape of the moon, but they were taken to the interrogation room, not to the main jail.

"Ack!" Dr. Worm said. "It's Videl and Videl!"

"Remember _me_, boys?" Bad Videl said, brandishing her fists.

"Police brutality! Police brutality!" Mr. Booger shouted.

"I'm not a policeman, so I can be as brutal as I want," Bad Videl said.

"There's no need to be brutal," Good Videl said. "They'll help us out, right?"

Dr. Worm and Mr. Booger consulted each other.

"I think they're trying the old Good Cop / Bad Cop routine," Mr. Booger said.

"This could be our ticket out of here!" Dr. Worm said.

The two villains turned around.

"What do you want?" Dr. Worm asked.

"What do you _think_ we want?" Bad Videl said. "Turn us back into one person, or we'll kick your butt!"

"Yeah!" Good Videl said. "I don't like hurting people, but bad guys need to be punished!"

"We'll help you out," Dr. Worm said. "On one condition: you set us free immediately. No prison, no jail time, not even a fine."

"Complete amnesty? You tried to rob a jewelry store!"

Dr. Worm blew air through his mustache. "Take it or leave it," he said.

"Never!" Bad Videl said.

"Okay," Good Videl said.

"WHAT?" Bad Videl cried.

"If they help us, that's good," Good Videl said. "It's a sign that they've decided not to be evil anymore, which means they don't deserve to go to jail."

"You're an idiot," Bad Videl said.

"You're mean!" Good Videl said.

"But I'm _you! _Which means _you're_ mean!"

Good Videl gasped. "I'm never mean, except to Gohan, and that's because I secretly like him!"

"Ugh, you _would_ like him!"

"What? He's cute!"

"He's a total loser!"

"I think he's kind of cool."

"I bet he's the Great Saiyaman, and he's been lying about it the whole time."

"He wouldn't lie to me! He loves me!"

"I don't love him!"

"Well, that might be why he's lying! Because you're mean!"

"He's lying because you're a stupid sissy girl who still sleeps with a stuffed animal every night!"

"I haven't slept with Mr. Ostrich in years!"

"That's because you lost him when we moved!"

"Yeah, but _you're_ the one who went through all the boxes trying to find him again!"

"You're me, you idiot!"

"Okay, so we _both_ looked for him, then!"

"STOP! STOP!" Mr. Booger cried. "We can't take your arguing anymore!"

"Yes, please!" Dr. Worm said. "Just flip the purple switch on the side of the brainwashing ray and turn the knob to the right! That should turn you back to normal! Just..._stop arguing!_"

The two Videls looked at the villains and smiled at the same time.

"Thank you!" they said in unison.

"The old Good Cop / Bad Cop routine works every time," Good Videl said.

"But you guys are still going to jail," Bad Videl said.

"Anything, as long as we don't have to deal with you two anymore!" Dr. Worm begged.

* * *

"Thank you for putting up with me today," Videl—who was now back to normal—said as she and Gohan walked back through the parking lot. "It couldn't have been easy."

"You're welcome," Gohan said. "I'm just glad you're back to normal."

"You know..." Videl said. "I think the good me had a point. From now on, I'm going to nicer to you."

Gohan seemed disturbed. "Nicer as in..._kissing?_"

"Of course not," Videl said, stopping at her jet copter and opening the door. "Nicer as in I won't give you grief all the time now."

"That's good!" Gohan said. "Why, though?"

"Two reasons," Videl said. "One, you deserve it for being a friend and helping me out with this mess. And two, I know your secret."

"My...my secret?"

"Yep, you're not the Great Saiyaman," Videl said. "You're gay. _That's_ what you've been trying to keep hidden."

Gohan let out a huge sigh of relief. His secret identity was safe.

"You really shouldn't feel the need to hide it, though," Videl said. "You can't change that sort of thing, and besides, I kind of like you just the way you are."

"I like you, too, Videl," Gohan said.

He smiled as Videl entered her jet copter and shut the door behind her. He walked away, reflecting on how it was nice he finally made a friend out of Videl, when the rest of what she said finally penetrated his brain.

_"She thinks I'm gay?_"

Gohan turned and ran back towards the jet copter. "Videl, I'm not gay! I like girls! I'm just bad at dealing with them! Honest!"

But it was too late. Videl was already flying back to her home.


End file.
